Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We need a shit load of segways right now
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize