What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i dont even know how to be here
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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