I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
