have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
