Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
