She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
