Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Dear god my vagina.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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