Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
