your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
