you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
