She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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