This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize