This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The Olympian is in my bed
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
