i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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