i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He better not be in your backpack
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
