I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
