I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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