I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
