Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
