FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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