I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
