i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
