Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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