He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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