He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
