So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
