Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
