I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
