Can i not drive my cunt home
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
