sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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