hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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