Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap

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(678): View more from Georgia

The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.

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(616): View more from Michigan

We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.

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(214): View more from Texas

His apartment number was 69. I had to.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(505): View more from New Mexico

They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.

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(907): View more from Alaska

We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

there not mine if that helps

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.

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(954): View more from Florida

Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???

(1-954): View more from Florida

Yep, wanna bid?

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