you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
