Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"

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  (401): So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection" http://tfl.nu/al1v
  Replies (20) Good night (896) Bad night (5425)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.

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  (832): i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life. http://tfl.nu/zh94
  Replies (51) Good night (4916) Bad night (593)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.

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  (402): P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide. http://tfl.nu/s8ub
  Replies (5) Good night (3850) Bad night (579)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.

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  (908): There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life. http://tfl.nu/ab1p
  Replies (87) Good night (7852) Bad night (1667)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."

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  (602): The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..." http://tfl.nu/m7yq
  Replies (12) Good night (3426) Bad night (1214)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.

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  (302): just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach. http://tfl.nu/5cxr
  Replies (3) Good night (2810) Bad night (792)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.

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  (541): I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums. http://tfl.nu/gqon
  Replies (6) Good night (3159) Bad night (925)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.

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  (419): Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed. http://tfl.nu/x4xs
  Replies (4) Good night (1708) Bad night (1015)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.

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  (612): The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt. http://tfl.nu/1yd4
  Replies (4) Good night (3163) Bad night (814)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.

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  (513): I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass. http://tfl.nu/kvfi
  Replies (15) Good night (3053) Bad night (1036)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying

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  (+61): Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying http://tfl.nu/56hl
  Replies (8) Good night (1654) Bad night (617)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Solid. Can't put a price on good times

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You can and it's called a liver.

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  (386): Solid. Can't put a price on good times (978): You can and it's called a liver. http://tfl.nu/hzws
  Replies (3) Good night (1848) Bad night (621)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.

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  (215): Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you. http://tfl.nu/su7n
  Replies (12) Good night (3134) Bad night (590)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!

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  (304): I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!! http://tfl.nu/l5gi
  Replies (2) Good night (280) Bad night (632)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?

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  (417): Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA? http://tfl.nu/qvak
  Replies (2) Good night (482) Bad night (333)

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