And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.