Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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