Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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