i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
