i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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