I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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