Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
