Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
