dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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