Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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