so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
