Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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