I must be too annoying 4 u.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
