But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
