just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
