i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize