The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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