a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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