Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
