She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
