ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
