So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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