so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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