drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
