im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
