Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
