I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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