so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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