Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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