my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize